(*) Funeral

My poor cousin's funeral went really positively this afternoon... she had a small but tight network of friends, most of whom were able to make it. There was a lot of grief expressed... most realise (as do we) that she took her own life, so there was a sense of unnecessary loss. Her partner bade her farewell in a very special way - just the way he stood before her weeping... not something you would have expected a big, burly, tough guy in a leather jacket to do - but it expressed for all of us what we were feeling. Afterwards he simply said, "Bugger" - and for me, that summed up our sense of the whole thing. My brother gave an amazing eulogy [this was his fourth in about 6 years... he quipped he's getting the hang of them by now! lol] - and he spoke really well. What he wrote was at times funny, sad, moving, realistic, but a heartfelt, sincere tribute to our cousin. For me it was still a bit 'raw' and too close to home in some ways... it just made me think of my own mum's funeral just over one year ago... not in a negative way, but feeling that revisited sense of grief again, even tho I know that I have coped really well physically and emotionally with my own mums' passing. My dad's passing, over 10 years' ago, well... that's a whole different matter... ya, to be honest, I don't think I really got over his removal from out of my life... funny how these things bring out the stark reality of these things sometimes, huh? No, I'm fine with it all. It was a good, positive day.

My brother and I had a great time hanging out together - as we always seem to do, swapping stories and just catching up on things that affect our lives. It's so wonderful just having the freedom to be able to do that again... for so many years we felt so totally opposites of one-another and never knew what to say to each other. So for us to be able to hang out for a few hours,under such an intense situation as a family funeral, goes to show how close we are nowadays. Ya - it's excellent!

The funeral was held at Rookwood Crematorium (Sydney), and the adjoining cemetery is the largest in the Southern Hemisphere! It's freaking *huge*!!! Some of it is really modernm sleek etc etc, while other parts have these amazing gravestones and plots and structures that look like something out of a scary movie! Tell ya what - I wouldn't enjoy hanging around there at night! lol We saw four graveside funerals taking place at the same time, let alone the 12 cremations over the day... perhaps it was a slow day? lol. An amazing place... I've always found cemeteries to be fascinating places - not in a ghoulish way, just in the social history aspect of it all... and some of the mausoleums are just plain staggering! lol

My brother and I finished off the day sharing a Chinese meal, trying to doge a pouring rainstorm that crept up over the mountains and just dumped bucket-loads of water all over us! heh heh. At least the car got a good rinse... aww god... I'd almost forgotten what rain felt like...

Random thought... I'm currently listening to a CD of Santana's first album (1969) - funky latin jazz rock! Nam nam!

I'm looking forward to these next few days down at Tuross Head visiting the guy who used to play guitar in one of the bands I used to play in, about 563 years' ago... should be fun just hanging out with him again. It'll be nice having 'no agenda' apart from just enjoying each others' company again... I haven't seen him in over 7-ish years! wow... but thanx to email we've been able to keep in touch... look out Ajax! lol

And yes, I'm sitting on the edge of the guest bed in my brother's house writing this on my laptop! [giggles]... it's still an outrageous novelty for me [blushes]

Cyalayta

Mal :o)