Statistical Primate Studies

"If you put a million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters, odds are that in an unspecified amount of time they will end up shitting on most of the paper, eating all the food in the fridge and, shortly afterwards, resorting to cannibalization. Of course the strongest monkeys will survive and end up sectioning off the room into three distinct clans called Eee-Ooh, Ooh-Ah, and Ah-Eee-Oo-Ooh.

"The Eee-Ooh clan would be a warmongering race, constantly attacking the other two clans for food and resources, whereas the Ooh-Ah clan would focus on dismantling the ceiling tiles and walls to create a monkey-proof barrier of sorts, blocking off the other two clans. The Ah-Eee-Oo-Ooh clan, as their name implies, would probably just stick to using monkey poo stained stationary to make paper airplanes and throw them at the other two clans.

"Eventually the barbaric Eee-Ooh clan would overthrow the Ah-Eee-Oo-Ooh clan’s forces, impressing the strongest warriors into their ranks while devouring the weaker of the population. The Ooh-Ah clan would eventually learn how to use the florescent lighting to start small fires in conjunction with the paper. Unfortunately this causes the water sprinklers to react in opposition, thereby destroying any chances of creating fire again, as well as taking out any ability of the Ah-Eee-Oo-Ooh clan (the small rebel faction that retained the name) to ever create fecal covered aircraft to battle the oncoming Eee-Ooh forces.

"Sadly, as the ink-stained water rises in the windowless monkey-infested room, the loose wires that the Ooh-Ah clan pulled out of the walls for electrical research earlier would contact the water, thereby electrocuting all of the monkeys with a horrible alot-of-monkies-dying-by-electrocution scream."

(Source - Dr Phile)

New Words for 2007

New Words for 2007

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -

needless paperwork and processes.

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.


OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McPOO. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McPOO with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.


GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH . A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women

(Thanx to Pattycam's Blog for the source)

(*) A New Years Resolution

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Tip a cow. Get your resolution here.

Cow Tipping...?!? Ruggish!

Dear Santa

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa


Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa


Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa


Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa


Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. P.S. Tell your mom she got the part. Long Dong Claus


Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa


Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa


Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa


(Thanx to Pattycam for the source)

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Sure, I aint been blogging lately, but at least I'm not getting spammed here anymore either! whoo hoo!

Spent last weekend with Raven and her family in Brisbane. The drive up and back was brillaint, but really made me realise how DRY it is out here... it's just GOT to rain sometimes, doesn't it...?!?

My main 'thing' at moment has been with the Carcoar Dam Sailing Club, helping out in little ways as I can.

(*) Carcoar Dam Sailing Club Website

I've volunteered to resurrect the Carcoar Dam Sailing Clubs' webpage. Lots of fresh pics and info too.

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What WAS it? A remote control, of course! [giggles]

(*) Jottings

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<--- What is it??? Leave a comment and tell me your thoughts! Answer in a few days.

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My little car is going wonderfully. I cringed when I accidentally made its first small scratch on the roof last Sunday. An accident, obviously. It'll just polish out. One of the 'joys' of having a dark-coloured car is that it doesn't take much to make it seem dirty... tho I can't complain using a nice cold hose on a hot sunny afternoon washing... Some things never end tho. Car Insurance is due at the end of the month. Shopping around for a better deal/price, I found my current insurer has the best value for me, which is nice to know. One less thing to have to think about.

Driving to and from Sydney the other week always brings back some fond memories... at one point along the freshly rebuilt highway, there used to be some roadworks with a huge mountain of earth that was slowly filling up a small gully. The steep slope faced sharply downhill in the same direction as the traffic, right next to the road... to me, it will always be the "Irish Safety Ramp" - 100km/h straight down...

The price of fuel between home and the city is outrageous... at home it was $1.25/litre... 120kms away on the Blue Mountains it was $107.7/litre... how do they justify that difference??? They bloody CAN'T!!! Grrr!

Driving to the sailing club the other day (a 100km / 62 mile round trip), I smiled as I caught, out of the corner of my eye, a Kangaroo with a small Joey sticking its head out of her pouch. Very kute! The cows sometimes become rather curious when someone comes along with their sailing boat out at the boatshed. Yet as soon as I was out on the water last weekend, andsailed near them, they panicked and stampeded back up the hill enmass! Really quite funny.


Yes, boxer shorts... and T-shirts as well. I don't know what got into me, but I went from like three new shirts to like eight! One side affect is that now I have some old t-shirts to use as polishing rags, I guess... keeping the Wee Waa cotton industry in business, I guess. At least I'm not spending too much... I *did* save $10 on the new 256MB memory card for my camera, and $15 off a copy of the fantastically brilliant DVD "The Incredibles". Thank goodness for the $282 tax refund this year. I gave my original copy of "The Incredibles" to the boys, and it's such a great film I just had to have a copy. And I finally remembered to get a new battery in my wristwatch! It doesn't take long to get out of the habit of checking your wrist for the time.

I still don't know how I did it, but I lost one of the rechargeable batteries that goes with my digital camera. Must have fallen out of my camera bag somewhere. I had to duck out and purchase some more, simply because as I was now down to three batteries, the recharger simply didn't work with the 'odd' number! Stoopid things. Anyways, the batteries I ended up getting have a much better 'holding' power than the old ones anyways. Yay!


2' 07" is the quickest lap around Mt Panorama today - and it's just a qualifying session! The record time is 2' 06"! Gagh! They must be flying up there! I can hear them buzzing away softly in the background as I speak, as well as hearing a running commentary on local radio. No, I'm not "into" motor sport, but it's very surreal hearing it on the radio and hearing it for real off in the distance! GO HOLDEN!


Totally randomness... back in the band days, we use to have many 'in-jokes"... one of them was our pretend 'Tribute' Heavy Metal Band, "Bollika" - a mish-mash of Iron Maiden, Deep Purple, Metallica, Spinal Tap styles loud electric mess etc etc. When people used to ask us what we were doing (after we'd broken up), we'd used to tell them we'd become "Bolika" - fun to say just for their incredulous reactions! heh heh. Weren't we norty? lol

Listening to the radio a few weeks ago, the local Parliamentarian, Gerard Martin, was promoting some new Government website - except he got the address horribly yet hilariously wrong. He slowly and clearly stated:
www.blahblahblah.CUM.au...
there was a momentary pause, followed by the friendly announcer correctly saying "COM.au". hahahaha. Red faces all round in a small studio somewhere, I'm sure! If I hadn't have heard it with my own ears, I just wouldn't have believed it. What on earth are the Government exploring online lately, hmmm...? hahahahahaaaa.

I love when the moon is on the wane... that amazing 3D effect... to my minds' eye the moon seriously looks like a huge floating ball in the sky... like some old 1970's YES or Pink Floyd album cover or something!!! Most other times, to me, the moon seems just 2-dimensional! Bring on the end of the month!

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(*) Here's comes the Race Madness

You know when a medium-sized country town goes slightly insane - when it's the Mt Panorama Race Weekend... every man and his dog (seriously) seems to have descended upon us to pay tribute to motor racing legend Peter Brock this weekend. Downtown this afternoon, I nearly fell over when I saw a queue... for the BOTTLE SHOP!!! hahahaha Campers buying cases and cases of beer to take atop the Mount... geebus... glad I'm staying indoors mostly this weekend.

Even tho I'm about 2km's from the Pitt area of the racetrack, during the day I can hear the 'buzzing bees' of the racing cars doing their thing off in the background. Quite surreal sometimes.

Out to Carcoar Dam this weekend for me. I'm bringing a local chap in a wheelchair out on Sunday, so he can go for a sail in one of the Access dinghys with Sailability.

I finally bought myself one of those 'memory card' thingies for my little digital camera. I thought I was happy with being able to store like 19 photos in the internal memory... now I can hold like 300+ hahahahaaa!!! So, be prepared for all sorts of images appearing about the places from now on.

Randomness... I know starting a small business is hard, and the aspect of having a market 'niche' is vital... how about the guy I saw driving around at the local Vetinarian's this week... "Pet Cremation Service"... how's that for a specilized business, huh?! lol

And, to just make your day complete, I now have a whole weeks' worth of 100% cotton boxer shorts! I'm now an absolute convert!

(*) Is this me?

My Portrait

Thanx to 3D for the link :)

666...???

So... they say today is the beginning of the end, huh...? The 6th day of the 6th month in the 6th year... "666"... what a load of $#it! muwahahahaaa

(Image Source)

(*) Beautiful natural image

Just got a phone call from my brother... he's managed to get two free 3-day passes to the Easter Car Races up here at the Mount! he's never been to anything like that, so, for a change - I'll take him somewhere! heh heh I'm not 'into' the whole car/motor racing thing anyways, but its still something that needs to be seen/heard/felt/smelled/experienced to believe!

JD has his first parent/teacher night at his High School tomorrow... of course, being the 'parent who doesn't live with the child' I wasn't directly invited, so I've been told my the school [who apologised deeply!] to just kinda turn up and hope I can slot into a vacant time! heh heh.

I can't believe it - a WEEK after mum's estate came tho, I STILL haven't seen a freaking cent of it! Bloody solicitor! Hope he hasn't pissed off to South America or something! heh heh... last word was hopefully this Wednesday/Thursday - fingers' crossed. JD can't wait for his new puter... hey, you remember being 12 and how you can't wait for something exciting to arrive, huh?

My body clock is absolutely back-to-front! I realised [I know it sounds stoopid] that my depression-cycle has kinda led me down the path of like sleeping 12-hours a day [I know! It's disguting!], and it's just thrown everything topsy-turvey emotionally and even health-wise. I also realised that I haven't actually sat-down and answered *any* emails for over a month! I guess... I've just retreated right into my shell a bit again... I didn't really realise it [yeah, I know, it sounds so obvious - to an observer, but I don't have any 'observers' in my life at the moment! lol]. The lights came on for me yesterday when I spoke to my brother for his 52nd birthday... after I hung up I burst into aching tears! I had to stop and kinda question myself where the hell *that* came from! heh he. Yeah, as you guessed, I'm going thru a 'lonely' period just at the moment... no biggie, I guess.

Let me end this post on a positive note. Driving to the Sailing Club the other month, I slowed down as I passed a horse and her young foal in a paddock next to the road near the dam... she was so pretective of her foal, kinda nuzzling it away from the fence to keep it safe... I mean, the foal must have only been a few days old or something, all legs! it was just a beautiful natural image of how parents care for their children.

On This Day...
Born: Mary Shelly [writer, 'Frankenstein'], 1759.
Events: Ringo Starr married Barbara Bach, 1981.
Useless Trivia: Water is wet when applied liberally.
My Soundtrack: Forrest Gump soundtrack; "The Best of Freinds", John Lee Hooker.
Footwear: nekkid
Weather: cold nights! Autumn has arrived!

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

(*) Comfy Sox

grouphug.us/confessions/436755302
Everybody has a pair of sox like this, I'm sure... I have an old yellow cotton t-shirt I got in Coolangatta back in 2001, and altho there's a few suspicious moth-looking holes in the front - I cannot bear to part with it! It's like my pyjama top in the colder months :)

TAFE College was fine tonite... getting like 6-months-worth of stuff printed in one hit, then I can sit back and read and edit and doodle and make notes and let it all sink in before I have to start actually writing reports etc etc etc. There were only six of us there tonight... we had a great laff when we read one of the notes in the 'training manual'... obviously the manual's author had a great sense of humour, or was just checking to see if we were paying attention... in a bit where we were talking about how to physically set up a training room to create a user-friendly environment, there was a tiny note mid-text saying "Arrange the tables in the middle of the room so the group can lay on them and have sex with each other"! I swear - tis true! We were pissing ourselves laffing, and the poor co-ordinator was so embarrased! Now... *that's* an interesting way to motivate a small group to learn! hahahaha

Going sailing tomorrow... got a mobile phone message downtown this morning... Tim's got a day off (he's the bloke I originally bought my little boat from), so he suggested a sail, and so - why not? We kinda hang out a bit when we can... he's a nice quiet friendly bloke, and he's slowly relaxing enough around me to reveal his wicked sense of humour... heh heh.

Mum's small estate [should] come thru mid-next week... I was speaking to JD on the phone last night [he's absolutely doing great at High School], and he's already given me specific instructions about the computer I am to get him! heh heh. No, seriously, he needs a puter for school, so I was going to always get him one anyway... the extra finances will aid that nicely.

I'm listening to this oldie right now... I have to confess, tho, that as a kid - I was 'heavily' into Sherbet and not Skyhooks! heh heh

____________________

Science on the Cutting Edge

Seventh-grader Jasmine Roberts became a celebrity of sorts in February when her hometown Tampa Tribune published results of her winning science-fair entry, which concluded that the drinking-water ice of several local fast food restaurants contains more bacteria (including some E. coli) than the same restaurants' toilet water. She used a laboratory at the University of South Florida's Moffitt Cancer Center, where she is a volunteer assistant for a professor. [Tampa Tribune, 2-13-06]
_________________________

Least Competent Criminals

Totally Hapless: (1) Matthew John Wyman, told to recite the alphabet at a roadside DUI stop in West Roxbury, Mass., in November, asked the officer if he could please substitute a math problem instead (Answer: No).
(2) Frank Traina's attempted armed robbery of a Chinese restaurant in Levittown, N.Y., in December went awry when the owner realized that Traina's realistic-looking gun was leaking water from the barrel.
(3) In December, Auckland, New Zealand, police arrested the man who had robbed a bank but then, disappointed at the size of the loot, had telephoned the bank manager and ordered him to stand out front with more money, which he would grab on a drive-by. (The robber never showed up, but police traced the phone call.) [Boston Herald, 11-23-05] [New York Post, 12-14-05] [New Zealand Herald-AP, 12-10-05]
__________________________________

WTF...?

While camping in California's Mojave Desert, artist Trevor Corneliusien, 26, chained his own ankles together in order to draw an image of his legs, but when he finished, he realized he did not have the key to unlock the chain. He told sheriff's deputies that he hopped around the desert for 12 hours before arriving at a gas station, where he called for help (January). [New York Times-AP, 1-4-06]

What Is Life?

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you anytime of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I know, I can do
If I give my love now to everyone like you
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make ev’rything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you any time of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Oh tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side.

(George Harrison (c) 1970)

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NB. Ponderables updated!!!

(*) Connected to the fan

Well, mum's place has finally sold today... $25k less than we anticipated, but it's sold - that's the main thing. My brother and I are just happy and also mixed feelings - it's like the very last thing to wrap up after mum passed away back in April... hmmm...

Haven't seen the boys for two weeks - yes, it's the middle of the school holidays but for two weeks keep getting the 'raincheck' message - too much happening, apparently. Next week onwards is looking better tho - bout fucking time! heh heh. They're well... SJ won't go swimming in their dam again for a while... discovered the hard way that Yabbies (like a freswater crayfish) like toes to nip on! He's not hurt, just shaken!

Went sailing on the 2nd day of the year - and as I'm pulling my boat up the beach - I accidently snapped the rudder! Took some serious glue but it seems all fixed again now. Sailing again this Sunday with two races again... lovin' it. The boys' mum refuses to allow them anywhere near the dam where we all go sailing... just being overprotective... give her a year or two... but sailing is majestic fun for me... absolutely lovin' it!

I had the best Xmas in 4 years... just hanging out with my brother was really really relaxing and refreshing for two days in a row. Even had a few people her for New Years' Eve for a BBQ and a laff... lots of fun. Yeah, this festive season's been one of the best ones for many a year for me here - yay! 'bout bloody time, eh? heh heh. I haven't even pulled the Xmas Tree down yet... the lights are connected to the fan, so... what's the hurry?

I spent a few days casual fruit packing (early-season peaches) in a large steel shed in the middle of a stinking hot sumer... needless to say it wasn't too much fun... everyone was having a hard time of it... tempers were short... not the most pleasant environment to work in... thankfully that's over with for now.

On This Day...
Born: Jack London (writer, 1876).
Died: Maurice Gibb (Bee Gee, 2003); Nevil Shute (writer, 1960).
Events: "Please Please Me" single released by The Beatles 1963.
Useless Trivia: Some kitties have pink fur.
My Soundtrack: local radio 2BS.
Footwear: nekkid.
Weather: cloudy, humid, hot, airless.

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

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(*) Plainly bizarre

I must confess - there are just some things I will not share about myself on this blog. Yes, I know, I have poured out a good measure of my joys and angst thru this thing over the past 18 months, but there are just some things I just cannot bring myself to talk about in a public forum such as this. So - I apologise. Anyway - it's my blog, so, nuts to you! hahahaa!

---

The boys have the school presentation night tonight, which I'm looking forward to... mind you, their mum started our hour-long dialogue last week by 'telling me' that I should not go 'for the boys' sake'... well, I told her that I WILL be going 'for the boys' sake'! She later backed down and said she shouldn't keep saying things like that to me. Anyway, tonight will be a relaxed fun night. JD's last year in Primary School, so he'll get some sort of special award. Gasp! I cannot believe he'll be going to High School next year! What happened to my little baby boy?!? Mishtah booy is all growing up! Boo hoo! hahahaa.

My brother has not only invited me to their place for Xmas Day, but we're planning to have 2 or 3 days together in Sydney as well! Just getting a cheap motel and do a bit of sightseeing, and just hang out together. I'm really looking forward to that too. I'll actually *have* a Xmas this year, by the sounds of it. Plus he's still talking about taking me away on some cruise or rather to Fiji or something next year! Holy shite! lol

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Sailing was a bit of a fizzer this week... at one point the lakes' surface resembled glass from lack of wind! Luckily I was about 100 meters offshore when that happened, but one poor bloke had to paddle about 1km back! Mind you, the first time I get to use the paddle on my boat - snap! Right at the handle! Useless! The handful of ppl on shore could hear me laffing my head off - it was very funny! On the very first stroke - snap! hahahaaa. Luckily I was pretty close in and was able to get myself in without much trouble.

But the magical part of the day was in mid-afternoon, while we were waiting for the wind to do something - anything! - about six of us jumped into the tinnie (aluminum speedboat used as a starting/safety boat) and anchored in the middle of the lake. All wearing our lifejackets (for the heck of it), we all went swimming in the middle of the lake! Now, in all my 41 years I've never done that before! The water and weather was awesome - just floating about and splashing about like twits - a really special time. I had an absolute ball. Needless to say, sailing is my big chance to just relax and feel as close as I can get to the elements at the moment. I love it, I really do.

The funny thing was - one of the guys and I went out to the lake last Tuesday to go for a sail, but we ended up doing a bit of work about the place, as - the wind was way too strong to even go out! hahahaaa!

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Save a tree this Xmas season - don't burn logs in your fire - use old rubber tyres instead...

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This has got to be my favourite, if somewhat slightly warped, song lyric of the week! I first heard this 1969 album by The Who way back in 1980, and altho I have the CD nowdays I don't play it all that much (it's a special one to me). However, driving out to sailing on Sunday, I remembered the whole lyrics to this song - just a total random thought on my part. Needless to say, I was pissing myself laughing as I was driving along a quiet country road! (I think I needed the stress relief in just laughing out loud, methinks!!!) Mind you, some of these lyrics are just so plainly *bizarre*! I still can't believe something so plainly cruel and awful would even get released as a commercial 'pop' song! hahahaaaa!

We're on our own, cousin, all alone, cousin.

Let's think of a game to play now the grown-ups have all gone away

You won't be much fun being blind, deaf and dumb,

But I've got no-one to play with today.

Do you know how to play hide-and-seek?

To find me will take you a week.

But tied to that chair, you won't go anywhere;

There's a lot I can do with a freak.

How would you feel if I turned on the bath, ducked your head under and started to laugh?

What would you do if I shut you outside, to stand in the rain and catch cold so you died?

I'm the school bully, the classroom cheat

The nastiest playfriend you ever could meet

I'll stick pins in your fingers and tread on your feet... (P.S. That line had me howling with laughter - it's just SO bizarre!)

Cousin Kevin (c) John Entwistle/The Who 1969

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On This Day...
Born: Charlie Rich, 1932.
Died: Dianah Washington, 1963.
Events: Mick Taylor leaves the Rolling Stones, 1974.
Useless Trivia: Is black the absence of all colour and white the presence of all colour?
My Soundtrack: 'Tommy' The Who
Footwear: bare butt nekkid
Weather: gloriously sunny with light winds

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

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(*) Cold calling

SJ turned nine (*nine* already!!!) this month... altho I wasn't 'able' to see him on his actual birthday (apart from two phone calls), I saw him on the following weekend along with his brothers - yay! Going into Big W to get his pressie CD - Australian Idols' Shannon Noll's latest thing - I felt so silly buying something like that... now I know how my parents must have felt buying me a 'Sherbet' record at the same age for me! I think I said the same thing about the last time I bought JD a Shannon Noll CD too... it's pretty funny telling the cashier, "You know... this *isn't* for me, you know..." "Yeah, right...!" lol Anyway, we spent a few hours just hanging out beside a beautiful little waterside park at a lovely tiny rural village about 20 minutes from where they live (you know the place... 1 pub, a few houses, a stop sign...) playing all sorts of games together... SJ absolutely loved his CD - he'd said just a few days' before to his brothers', "Oooh.... I hope I get that.... I'd really like that..." How cool is that, eh? wOOt! Yah, we always have a good time just hanging out together without any agendas - it's just the best way to be. Tomorrow is Ix's 7th birthday - two birthdays within 2 weeks in our family (hee hee hee - lovin' it)... he was hanging to get a DVD copy of "The Incredibles", so I naturally obliged... again, I'm 'unable' to see my own son on his actual birthday (but I'll make some calls tomorrow, of course)... I dropped his pressie off this arvo, and fingers' crossed I'll see them all this weekend... it'll be three weeks' then since I've last physically been with them... it's getting harder with the silly season coming along with a big rush too... so many commitments for them... It still rips my heart out that in all practical reality I'm just not a daily part of their lives at the moment... not much I can do about it... I'm sure I just internalize my pain which is a main cause of my on-going annoying illnesses and stuff... oh well, that's life. The one thing that keeps me going somedays is the knowledge that I will always adore them, no matter where life places us all. And nobody nor nothing can ever change that - my passion for my sons is mine and mine alone, and for that I'm grateful.
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I managed to have a c.20-minute decent conversation with the boys' mum the other afternoon on the phone... it's not always easy to pick how she's gonna be on any given day.... it was just such a stress-relief to be able to talk to a normal rational human being for a change! lol Talking about the boys, of course... JD's going to High School next year, so we needed to go thru a few things there, among other things.
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Still on family, my mum's place hasn't been sold yet... looks like we'll have to knock the price down a little bit... it's not an issue with me, as my brother and I just want it sold, you know. It's been sitting there empty since April, so the quicker someone can move in the better. Wow... April... that's almost 8 months' ago since mum passed away... wow, time's flown... I really don't know what happened to this year... it just seemed to slip by without me noticing... it's been a pretty nothing kinda year in many ways for me, just existing... wake up, eat, potter, eat, sleep... hehehe.
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My cheeky bully goldfish Rt Rev Thoon 'Perry' Fishie VC OAM MBE turned two the other week! Two years having a goldfish as a pet, eh... that's gone by really quick when I think about that! He's going great... he bullies his corner filter now, pushing it away from the corner so that after a few days its sitting in the middle of his tank rather than the corner! lol. Gives him something else to do, I guess, apart from keeping my tax files in order... random thought... I almost forgot to lodge my tax return this year by the cut-off date (made it by 2 days)... I just simply forgot all about it, altho I had all the paperwork sitting there ready and waiting to fill in and send for like 3 months! D'oh! Anyway.... I got a nice little refund cheque this week... just in time for Xmas - yay for small mercies.
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Sailing has been an absolute blast... why would I want to be doing anything else when I'm out there?! There's been a few races where I've had a ball... my boats' not the most competitive against the other classes that race there - but I really don't care at all. I simply love it... adore being out on the water... I have a very healthy respect for the water and the elements, so sometimes I admit I get a bit of a nervous flutter in my stomach when I'm out there, but that's more of a respect for the elements and an awareness of my own limited capabilities... after all, I'm still re-learning how to sail again after like 20 years! Not that I'm going bad at it, by no means! It's going really well - I've only had one capsize in all the times I've been out so far. I knew one day I would have to capsize, so at least I could practice doing it... but when it happened so quickly, I was just blown away at how *easy* it was to get it upright again and just keep sailing away... brilliant little Wyreema, thank you! There's a good crowd of friendly people who sail there each Sunday, so it's good to feel part of something again, even if it's a small sailing club. The water levels are rising rising rising fast... in the last month we've had practically record-breaking drought-breaking rain... a couple of inches in like 3 weeks saw the dam's water level go from 17% to 25% in like 3 days! wOOt! Don't have to dodge any old trees sticking out of the shallows now! lol Actually, I've made the local paper twice with the sailing... manys' the time when I simply hoot and holler like a fool as I'm sailing along - out of pure joy - and everyone on the shore and in the other boats hear me and laugh... they even make comments about it in the sailing section of the paper! lol Manys' the time when I'm out there, wind in my hair, water splashing up off the hull, feeling the water slide past the hull beneath my feet - I just say out loud "Thank you, dad" - if it wasn't for my dad instilling into me my passion for sailing, I wouldn't be there. At moments like that I really do miss him, even after 9 1/2 years...
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I never really did fall into a deep slump after the job driving the laundry van came to an end... a slow downward slope at times, but never a big 'thud', which I'm really thankful for. I'm sitting on a 6 out of 10 at the moment... that's fine. Life is just on auto-pilot at present, and there's not a whole damn lot to motivate me to do anything lately. I don't like being like this - I'm keenly aware how my mental alertness has dropped off quite dramatically this year (maybe it's just getting older? Who knows...?), but I think a lot of that is just not having enough to keep me socially and interpersonally interactive with enough people... that's why I was mainly excited working at the laundry because that was a huge bonus for me, and I miss that one-on-one interaction and daily routine and stuff. Oh well... some people have it so lucky, eh?! lol I'm not complaining, but I feel so damn guilty just spending so much time sitting on my ass sometimes.. I go out, go cold calling, deliver CV's and make phone calls etc etc etc, but alas there's no bites... oh well... it's a terrible cyclical pattern to get into, let me tell you. Sucks the life out of you.
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Oh! I didn't mean to sound so morose, Blog Paige! I'm going pretty OK. I've been writing a few silly little stories here and there, but nothing worth being published, really. Just trying to keep my mind alert to some degree... with some limited success too... silly brain! hahahaa.
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Well, it's almost Xmas again... can you bloody believe it? Thank Ford I'm spending this season at my brothers - this'll be my first Xmas not being alone in four years... whoo hoo. Hope all your plans start coming together for you all too.... enjoy your family - celebrate them and rejoice who you are who you're with.

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On This Day...
Born: John Mayall (muso, 1933); Ed Harris (actor, 1950).
Died: George Harrison 2001; Cary Grant 1986; Cardinal Thomas Wolsey 1530 (a very distant relative of mine!)
Events: The Beatles release the single "I Want to Hold Your Hand" 1963.
Useless Trivia: 1962 Academy Award for Best Picture went to "Lawrence of Arabia"
My Soundtrack: "Collective Soul" (1995) - thanx to the local library
Footwear: white cotton sox
Weather: beautiful rain rain rain

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

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(*) Sorry there, folks!

If you get some sorta email message about joining some website or other that says it comes from me - please just ignore it! yes, I sent it - but I didn't *mean* to send it! Stoopid link sites... grrr... please accept my most humble apologies. The site itself is a harmless one, but just ignore and delete the email you get from it rather than wasting your time following thru with it, alrite? kewl. Sorry sorry sorry! D'oh! to me...

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Check out this amazing pic... always loved this kinda stuff, and I just borrowed a book about him and his art from the library...

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Then there's the infamous "Lint-Haired Kid"...

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Well i got a math trick for you all if you want to try it

1. GRAB A CALCULATOR. (YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THIS ONE IN YOUR HEAD)

2. KEY IN THE FIRST THREE DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER (NOT THE AREA CODE)

3. MULTIPLY BY 80

4. ADD 1

5. MULTIPLY BY 250

6. ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER

7. ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER AGAIN.

8. SUBTRACT 250

9. DIVIDE NUMBER BY 2

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE ANSWER? NEAT, HUH?

(Thanx to caroline for the idea!)

Monday Musings

1. Name 1 comedy movie you've seen. "Blazing Saddles"
2. Name 2 black and white films you remember seeing. "8 1/2" "A Hard Days' Night"
3. Name 3 dramas you thought were worth watching. "My Brother Jack" "The Bill" "The Stone Tapes"
4. Name 4 television shows you watch on a regular (or semi-regular) basis. "News" "The Simpsons" "Drawn Together" "Iron Chef" "Cricket"
5. Name 5 things that, in your opinion, are advertised on television too frequently. Toyota Camry only $19,990...; MacDonalds; Crampton's Carpets, Dubbo; "Neighbours" "Home and Away" lol


Week 143
I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Unbreakable:: Samuel L Jackson
   
2. Have mercy:: on me, a sinner
   
3. Do it better:: get it right the first time
   
4. Settle scores:: forgive and just forget and get on with it
   
5. Comments:: yes please
   
6. Craziest thing:: walking backwards for Xmas across the Irish Sea
   
7. Apple:: Corp
   
8. Halloween:: a non-event for me
   
9. Manageable:: vegetable
   
10. Trick:: it's all done with mirrors
    

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I'm listening to one of my favourite bands... XTC's LP (well, CD...!) "English Settlement" - great quirky English 80's pop! Love it!

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We don't celebrate Halloween down here (All Hallow's Eve, as tomorrow is All Saints Day - Bible College stooge! lol)... not even any trick or treaters knocking at the door - just as well as there wasn't anything to give 'em anyway... maybe our last remaining VB twist top...? Nah... lol

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People say the damnest things sometimes...! (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii)

Norty google!

Try this! Those lads at Google have a great sense of humour! Goto www.google.com, type in "failure" and then hit the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button, and see where you end up! pmsl!

It's worth HOW MUCH...?!?

My blog is worth $4,516.32.
How much is your blog worth?

(Thanx to Third Daughter for the link!)

(*) Eisteddford

It’s Eisteddford Time again! It’s when all the young people from the region get a chance to air their talents in a strict competition in front of an audience on the local Entertainment Centre stage. Today the boy’s school choir sang their two numbers - very well, I may add! It’s very cute, as it’s a small school, so there’s the whole size range from JD in Year 6 looking about 7 feet tall to the kinders who look about 2 feet tall!

BUT - the highlight of the day - something I won’t easily forget - happened earlier in the schools’ choir session. Half way thru it’s second song, one boy in the back row from another local school decided a projectile vomit would be a good thing to do all over his fellow choir members (nerves? bad food? who knows?!) He bolted for the side of the stage, poor kid! But - the two girls standing in front of him copped all of it, but despite that the whole group soldiered on like troopers and just kept going without batting an eyelid. The girl in the front row just kept singing, despite huge tears rolling down her left cheek - I mean, it was all in her hair! Every heart of every parent in the audience went out to this girl, who just kept going, despite obviously feeling absolutely horrible! As soon as the item had finished, the teacher/choir mistress gave her a big hug and led her off - to a very loud round of applause for their combined mighty effort in keeping going despite the huge distraction! The girl who’d been standing next to her had been standing with her left arm kinda sticking out a bit from her side as she sang - she, too, didn’t stop or waver in the least. It wasn’t until she had to turn to exit the stage that it was obvious that all down her side was the evidence of her obvious discomfort! Eewww! Yeah, our combined hearts went out to those kids today. I’m sure they’d get a high commendation award or something for just keeping going strongly thru all of that unrehearsed disaster! A very memorable choir session at the Eisteddford!!!

When a stagehand came armed with mop and bucket soon afterwards, he received a rousing cheer for his fine command performance! It was very funny and bizarre to hear peals of laughter at such a serious competition - but it helped break the ice for the next school choir who had to front on the same stage, the floor still damp from the mopping...

The boys went really really well - their music teacher led them so well and they respond so well to her. They looked as tho they were having a lot of fun… I mean, they’re old hands at this sorta thing now… I think this was their third year! Lol.

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The boy's mum occasionally acts like a nice person (just kidding... no, I mean... oh fark... forget it! lol)... she's given my brother and I copies of two really nice enlarged glossy photos of my late mum taken with the boys, about 6 months before she passed away, when she was looking quite good. That's really nice, hey? They're getting framed tomorrow. If my scanner (or the port, I think...) was working properly, I'd scan a copy and post one here, but...!

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- oh my gawd! They're at it again...!!!

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On This Day...
Born: Guy Sebastian (singer, 1981), Bob Hoskins (actor, 1942); Leon Trotsky (revolutionary, 1879).
Died: Pablo Picasso 1975.
Events: Beatles invested with their MBE's, 1965.
Useless Trivia: Red for port, green for starboard!
My Soundtrack: "Ampology" CD by the Hoodoo Gurus
Footwear: bare butt nekkid
Weather: gloriously sunny but strong winds

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

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