(*) Technology... humpf!

Go to print some letters out this arvo - printer no work, does it? It's worked 100% fine no problems before... spent like 90 minutes going thru all the troubleshooting tips trying to get it to work - no banana. The only thing I can think of is that the actual printer port in the back of the puter is not working (for some reason) - the rest of it seems fine. Now when I ring tomorrow, the question is - do I take it back to the place whee I got it from and get it fixed for free under warranty but probably wait 2 or 3 months while they get around to it, or do I take it to the local computer shop and get it done for a fee for like a 24-36 hour turnaround? Hmmm...

It's only taken aboout 2 months, but I finally received my CD copy of XTC's 1979 album 'Drums and Wires' - now I've got the three XTC CD's I've always wanted... Drums and Wires, Black Sea and English Settlement. Lovely :) Near-perfect pop (right up my street) :)

Did I mention my lifejacket turned up the other day, the one I got thru eBay? Fits well. Now it's just waiting for the sailing season to warm up a bit more...

Here's some good advice I've discovered along the way...

(*) Good weekend

Seeing the boys on Saturday was great... well, SJ was in one of his 'moods' so he didn't decide to come, so it was just JD Ix and I. Cool! JD's still being a bit tender walking on crutches (even tho his cast came off last week) but seems happy enough. The School Open Day ended-up being practically a non-event, so we ended up hanging out at an Ice Cream parlor and, as strange as it seems, a local cemetery! The boys were really interested in some of the really old graves from the middle of the 1800's - there's a grave of a Second Fleeter in Kelso cemetery! Sheesh! Actually, it gave JD a really good chance to ask me some questions like, "What's 'cremation'?" and the whole death and burial and funeral stuff... it was really positive putting it all into perspective for him after my mum passed away back in April and stuff. Funny how you've just gotta run with moments like that... no, it was really easy, actually. Mind you, I caught my 12-yo fully checking-out some 18/19-yo girls who strutted past the ice cream shop - very cute! We actually had a brief refresher revisit to the 'facts of life' talk in the car on the drive home... it just kinda happened, and JD's pretty open to that kinda stuff. I always thought I'd be so damn embarrased, but once you start talking about that kinda stuff as tho it's totally natural and normal (which it is, obviously!), then it's easy to relax and tell things as they are. I mean, he's 12 - things are changing for him all too soon, you know! lol. He's a good kid, but was wondering why some of the girls in his school year are acting a bit crazy sometimes... hahahaa. No, it was a good day altogether, just hanging out together. I miss that soo much - it was like a shot in the arm after the other day's major downer.

The working bee at Carcoar Dam on Sunday was a big positive as well. There were about 10 people just getting the area around the main shed/building ready for the upcoming season, laying a bit of top soil and putting grass seeds down, that kinda thing. My back and arms got a bit of a workout thanks to a shovel and matic - but I really enjoyed it. At the club they host quite a few disabled people once a month and take them out sailing, so they've done heaps of work with special ramps and toilet facilities and even pontoons lifts in-and-out of the specially-adapted boats they use for people in wheelchairs. It was very relaxing hanging out and actually meeting a few of the locals too - a good friendly bunch. We'd basically finished by 1.30 - I was expecting a long day, but they only do a bit at a time. Kewl! It was such a glorious day I went and sat down by the water's edge just enjoying the quietness (and it was *so* quiet! Beautifully so) and water view across the lake. I thought about getting the kite out, but there just wasn't quite enough breeze for that. It's a tough way to spend the weekend, eh? lol Plus it's only 48km away - that's about a 35/40 minute drive at most. Not bad, not bad.

Speaking of - kite flying in the late-afternoon today - beautiful colours reflected off the nearby trees with a view to die for atop The Mount! Whoo hoo!

Listening to and enjoying this album at the moment - Aftermath by the Rolling Stones (1966) - how retro is that, eh? lol Under My Thumb, Stupid Girl, Paint It, Balck etc etc etc!

(*) Geebus

Not going so good at the moment... suffering a bit from the effects of a minor psychotic episode I experienced last week which saw me holed-up in a motel room in a small nearby country town for the night unable to sleep and unable to stop thinking thinking thinking... not so good... I think it's time to get back on the meds again! No harm was done (physically), but I think I'm just in shock from going downhill so quickly so suddenly. It's tough, cause on one side I feel fine and reasonably happy, then there's a small part of me that sometimes borders on totally loosing it! Yes, it's scary. It's a combination of a few things, but basically the emotional shock of seperation and divorce has fucked-me-up in many ways. I'm just not the same person I used to be a few years' ago, damnit. There's a post in a blog you didn't ever expect to read, eh? Well, no-one locally reads my post nowdays I know - the gossip has stopped over the past 18-months-or-so round here. If my ex ever knew I was having days like this, I don't think she'd ever let me see the boys ever again. But - it's not like that, man - I'd never do anything to hurt or harm the boys or put them in an awkward or compromising situation.

Of all the love I have won or have lost
There is one love I should never have crossed
She was a girl in a million, my friend
I should have known she would win in the end

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown...
(John Lennon 1964)

(*) Slowly rising

Seeing the boys tomorrow - huzzah! Picking them up at 10am and going to one of the local large schools who's having an Open Day, with a fete and games and displays and stuff. Thinking of taking them to very quickly visit Norm before I drop them off at 2.30, but will see - depends on how SJ reacts at the time, not to worry.

JD got the cast off his leg on Wednesday no worries. Speaking with him yesterday, he's getting about fine but still has to take things easy - he's getting about in crutches still for a little while. So obviously, we wonlt be able to run together at the annual Edgell Jog in 2 weeks... we didn't do it last year as it was sleeting! A broken ankle is a pretty good excuse eh, JD? lol.

Hoping the working bee at the Sailing Club goes ahead this weekend (Sunday)... the weather's looking pretty hopeful to be climbing about on roofs and things like that! The water level is slowly rising... can't wait until the sailing season starts in a few weeks... gotta christen the Wyreema yet too... my lifejacket I bought on eBay should arrive early next week too. That'll complete my sailing kit (or 'clobber' as us Aussies would call it! lol) at last.

On This Day...
Born: Macaulay Culkin (troubled youth, 1980).
Died: Stevie Ray Vaughn (muso, 1990).
Events: Ganesha (not Homer J!); Jimi Hendrix plays his last gig at the 1970 Isle of Wight Festival.
Useless Trivia: Chris Smith (UK) flug a wellington boot 175-feet in 1975.
My Soundtrack: Elvis Costello; 'Abbey Road' The Beatles; ABC Radio National
Footwear: fluffy gray sox
Weather: gloriously sunny, very light winds - almost Spring mid-winter's day.

(*) You'll laugh so much you'll wet yourself!!!

Listen to this! A guy was ringing his boss to tell him he was running late for a meeting, when he witnesses a minor car accident happening right in front of him. Then he goes on to give a 'blow-by-blow' account of what happens next! This is sooooooooo funny! He has the best laugh! This is a real voice message and not a made-up one!

In other words... never mess with 'Mother Goose'!

(*) Weebl Madness

1. When putting groceries away, do you rotate your food so your newest items (cans and such) are in the back, and older food in the front? Fresh food - yes, but stuff in the pantry - that becomes a bit of a magical mystery tour when trying to find stuff!
2. Do you own a digital camera? If so, how long have you had one? If not, do you plan to purchase one soon? Yes, about 6 months - it''s great to take pics of the biys and places I go to - and can delete the bad pics as I go!
3. How do you store your precious photos? Digital - burn 'em ont a CD, and the really good ones i get printed; prints I keep in a number of photo albums, altho I've got copies of the boys' pics covering my wardrobe doors in my room.
4. It's 6:00 a.m. and you've just lost power due to a severe thunderstorm; they say it will probably take at least 12 hours before power will be restored; what do you do? Don't open the fridge or freezer. Luckily I'm on gas here so I could always heat something up on the stove or under the griller. I wouldn't worry if the puter's ben zapped or not - as there'd be no way to find out if it had been or not! lol
5. How many times a year do you (or does someone dear to you) wax your automobile? Wax? wazzat?
6. Gas prices; what can we say except they've reached an all-time high. How are you dealing with this? I don't drive too much anyway and my little car doesn't use much fuel, luckily. It's not affecting me that much.
7. Have you ever purchased a book or cd twice, forgetting that you already had it? oooh, probably... can't think of one off the top of my head tho...

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I finally got myself a copy of this book about George Johnston and Charmian Clift.

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Here's today's 'interesting' pics...

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Check out this cool live cam feed from a South African waterhole in Kruger National Park - very interesting! This is what was there when I was visiting just a minute ago - some impala (?) having a drink! How cool is that?! (Thanx to this blog for the link).

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Oh my gawd! They're at it again! Ack!

(*) Sunday Mutterings

The working bee at the Sailing Club was postponed this morning, bugger it - it was too wet and cold to be climbing on tin roofs and stuff... pussies! pmsl! So, I've had a quiet day resting, reading (Robert Lowell's Biography by Ian Hamilton), and listening to the sweet idiots on the radio. Hopefully the bit of rain will top-up the dam level beyond the 12% at present! Ack! I bought my first thing thru eBay yesterday - a life jacket! I saved about $40! Well, it all helps... gotta pay for my blogging fetish somehow, you know... lol

So, have you seen a Phoon lately? No, not a thoon... a Phoon. A whaaat...? A Phoon, naturally.

I've updated the links page, and the galleries and ponderables have been refreshed as well... even the dishes are done and the washing's up-to-date... it's been a quiet weekend. Thoon's been enjoying his new filter - life is good (the goldfish equivalent, anyway!)

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Week 133
I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Fan:: screaming your head off in a large crowd
   
2. Scum:: bathtub [oh oh! lol]
   
3. Lily:: Pictures of (The Who)
   
4. Humid:: cheese
   
5. Ghetto:: Crying in the
   
6. Remember me?:: sorry...?
   
7. Polished:: canteen of cutlry
   
8. Compose:: of decomposition
   
9. Squish:: elevator
   
10. Future:: is history
    

(*) Local High School burns down!

Kelso High School, one of our two large local public high schools burnt down last night! It's a tradgedy for our small city. It must have been a major fire, as it was a LARGE school. Luckily no-one was hurt, but it took the fireys 6 hours to get it under control!!! Gesus...

(*) Norm still around

You might remember I've been visiting an elderly chap 'Norm' in one of the local nursing homes about once a week, just to keep him company and help him have another friend while he's slowly disappearing into his dementia. I've caught up with him twice this week - just quick 10-minute visits. Tuesday was the first time I'd seen him really 'bad' and muddled/disoriented in the past few weeks since we've been getting to know each other. It was a little disturbing at first, but I just took it as it comes. It's nothing personal, it's just how the disease progresses - good one day, not so the next. Then 2 days' later, he was the same ol' Norm I'd been hanging out with for the past few weeks. Funny how it works like that... actually, the local library have a large collection of books and videos about caring and dealing with people going thru dementia, so they'll be getting some closer attention as the months' progress. Healthwise, he seems quite strong, which is sad sometimes, as his memory is so fragmented at times. There are other people living in the wing with him that are in much much poorer condition, both health and understanding-wise. I don't know how he copes in there, but he seems happy enough. He seems to be the youngest of the people in his immediate area (he's only in his late 60's), but he's not mentally alert enough to be left alone for too long, poor bloke. He's a nice bloke too. I'm still enjoying visiting him tho, as sad as it feels somedays. Not to worry.

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See? I TOLD you not to sit so CLOSE to the computer!!!

(*) Kiama Break

I had a really relaxing, refreshing break away in Kiama over last weekend. It snowed on the way down - not just a loight powder but a good coating thru Trunkey and Crookwell - it looked really pretty. The bush is so quiet when it snows... it's not something I see too often in these parts. Thankfully the roads were quite clear and my trip down to the Southern Highlands was relitavely incident-fee. I enjoyed the gentle country driving. After a short detour (okok... I took a wrong turn slightly! D'oh!) I found "Little Forest", the Bead-&-Breakfast country property at Alpine near Bowral in the Southern Highlands - the gravesite of my fav Aussie writer George Johnston. I couldn't believe I'd actually found it. I knocked meekly on the door, and I introduced myself meekly to the lady who lived there, telling her what I was looking for. She was more than happy to let me have a look and take some photos. It was a very very surreal experience. I've been reading his writing and biographies for years now, but it was very surreal to actually touch a piece of actual reality in connection with this man's real life - I mean, I was like 6 when he died. It's a very pretty quiet spot, and I stayed for about 20 minutes just saying over and over, "This is really weird! This is so weird!" It was a special moment, making a real-life connection with someone I'd only ever experience thru his writing.

From there it was only about a slow hours' drive across to Kiama, down the amazing Illawarra Escarpment (no, an 'escarpment' is not a rare Aussie bush creature either, as in 'Beware of the Escarpment'... mind you, I did see a Lyrebird standing in the middle of the Jamberoo Pass road! Amazing - they usually are rather elusive, but I saw one! nah nah nah! lol) thru Jamberoo. I couldn't help but pull straight up at the address my searching had found for George Johnston's wife's Charmian Clifts' first home, and took some pics. Kiama's a pretty little coastal town, but very touristy in its small way too. I stayed in an en-suite cabin about 100-feet from the ocean's edge - a gergeous spot with breathtaking views... I realised how much I missed the sea, with it's smell and sounds and feel.

I did lots of walking - just taking in the endless ocean views, cooking BBQ beside the beach at dusk, fluked a bit of whale watching too (2 humpback whales migrating north about 1km out to sea from the bench on the headland I was sitting on!), and managed to watch the sunset from a heated spa at one point - laughing at my outrageous decadence! pmsl! Both the main Blowhole (and the lesser-known 'Little Blowhole') were 'working' delightfully the two times I dropped by... what an amazing sound of the 'whoosh-thud' of the compressed air exploding out thru this small hole in the rock platform - very kewl! I took lots of pics of the area - usually in relation to Charmian Clift's childhood and youth spent growing up there, and had some great conversation with some very interesting contacts thru the local library, Visitor's Centre and museum. After the snowfalls on the way down, the weather was amazing for mid-winte - warm, light winds and endless blue skies. The surf was freezing tho - it's easy to spot the European tourists, pretending to enjoy splashing about in the ocean when the water's only like 12c or something - fools! lol I got my toes wet, but apart from the heated spa, no surf for this little black duck.

On the slow relaxed drive home on SundayI dropped past the Carcoar Dam Sailing Club and happened to meet the 'Commodore' - it's a lovely rural relaxed place where formality isn't at all neccesary. There's a working bee there this coming Sunday, so I'm planing to go and meet the others there then - along with some snags and a cold beer to boot, I'm sure. Half-way betwen there and home I re-visited a lovely little cottage 27km's out of town that's for sale... [sigh!] It's be lovely, but in the long run it'd be too far out of town. But the reality is - mum's place hasn't sold yet, so it was nice to dream all the same.

On Tuesday I finally got around to print out some of the digital pics I'd burned to CD recently - some beauties of the boys, my brother - and one of my new boat too [blush!]

I'm still pretty excited about my new little sailboat, you know... I had a special stick-on name for the stern so I can name-and-christen the 'Wyreema' sometime soon, and I went to the local Op Shops and got myself some old wolly jumpers to wear while I'm out on the water (wet-bum sailors don't dress for fashion just practical warmth, alrite?! lol) And I've been hunting for a Life Jacket thru eBay too... I might be able to get one cheap thru the club tho - I'll ask on Sunday.

Hey, by now you've realised that the Photo Galleries have been updated, but did you know you can also report those awful sick websites you accidently stumble across too?

Cyalayta
Mal :o)

(*) Blog of the Week

Check out the versatile "Pattycam Watchers Blog" - please?! Thanx!

(*) Mal's Own Wyreema

For the very first time in my life, I actually own my own boat! Let me introduce you to the Wyreema, the next in a long line of small sailing boats called this - my dad named most of his boats this for years and years. It was totally natural that I call it "Wyreema" without hesitation! I am like sooo excited!
It cost me a total of $757 - thank you mum and dad. It comes with a fully registered trailer to boot. It's a 'Solo' class, a small single handed dinghy that'll be perfect to sail around the freshwater lakes around here. It's very light, 3.78m/12' 5" long, fibreglass, easy to rig and sail, and easy to maintain too. Hey, I've been wanting to do this ever since I moved out here like 10 years' ago! This is really exciting for me - like really! Plus eventually I'll be able to introduce the boys to sailing too (once M gets the hang of the thought) - there's a special sailing club especially to introduce children to sailing out here - how cool is that? So, it's another opportunity to actually build an ongoing rapport with the boys - share my love of sailing with them.

Hey, it's a bit of a change from the last type of boast I used to sail - 16-foot Skiffs in and around Sydney Harbour!

It's an absolute spin out to own a boat of my very own... all the boats I've ever sailed were either my dad's or belonged to someone else! I can't wait for the season to start in September now, out at the Carcoar Sailing Club. I've met two of the locals from the club already, and I'm planning to go to a working bee at the clubhouse beside the lake on Sunday - a chance to meet some of the other sailors as well.

Stop Press: Here's the new addie for the Wyreema webpage! http://clik.to/wyreema

(*) Kiama

I'm spending a few days at Kiama, on NSW's South Coast, leaving tomorrow morning. It'll be my first 'going away with no agenda' holiday for about 4 years for me (I think...) So, why Kiama? It's only a nice 4-hour drive thru NSW rolling highlands - not too far, only about 310 kms. It's the birthplace of one of my favourite Aussie writers, Charmian Clift. On the way I'm hoping to find the site of her husband and my other favourite Aussie author George Johnstons' grave site, near Yerrinbool in the Southern Highlands. Camera at the ready... well, I'm taking my study material with me too... just being at a different location I'm sure I'll do a few weeks' worth in a day or two!

STOP PRESS! I FOUND IT! I actually found the place where George Johnston's ashes are buried! Oh wow! I'll see it tomorrow - well, today (as it's early am on Thursday right now...) I'm absolutely stoked that I found it - thank gawd for the internet!


Holy shite - I'm having a good nights' Googling tonight! I stumbled across the homepage of Jason Johnston, the last remaining child of George Johnston and Charmian Clift! Golly!

It snowed here today - yes, it actually snowed. My housemate was taking a casual stroll atop the Mount - and got coated. Then earler this evening it was snowing at the CSU campus here in town - geesh! Lots of snowfalls all over the higher ground around us too - hope the boys can get into school tomorrow on the bus - that is if the road's aint closed... come to think of it, I hope the road's aren't closed either, or how else will I get across to Kiama? At least I have 3 different choices to get their if one road is closed, luckily.

I spent a few hours on Saturday arvo just hanging out with my brother. I drove up to Katoomba, and we ended up going to a cafe called "The Hattery" in Katoomba's main drag... this place had a great hat shop too, and I actually laid eyes on my very first 'Homburg Hat' (made famous for me by my favourite comedian Tony Hancock) - but at a cost of $125!!! Look but not a sale! lol. Just being able to hang out together - with no agenda - is such a great situation for my only brother and to be in at last, after all these years. Ahhh...!

I think M got a big case of the guilts, as I ended up spending some time with the boys on Sunday, the day after JD's birthday. Oh well, I take whatever I can get. We went out to Rockley for a while to a nice park there, but that light wind was just too cold to stay outside for too long. JD loved (among other things) his "Goodies" DVD - we're all big Goodies fans from waaay back. Sunday was interesting from another persepctive too - SJ threw a huge tantie and spent the rest of the day moody and sullen... that's just a facet of the wonderful personality that is SJ! We were driving into Rockley when a car pulled out in front of us from a driveway, about 500 meters from town. No dramas, you'd think, right? Well, the senior citizen driving his recent-model car decided that just 25 km/h would be an appropriate speed limit for the 500 meters they had to drive into town, didn't they? With nowhere to overtake, and a cliff on the other side of the road, we all had a laff at being stuck behind this little old man doing just 25 km/h - in the middle of nowhere! We wouldn't have believed it if we hadn't been checking my speedo as we sat behind him... then he reached town (well, Rockey isn't excatly a 'town', more like a village/hamlet...), turned right, and sped off... interesting people live out that way, eh...?

Update: I've been thinking about getting back into sailing a bit lately... I've been in touch with Carcoar Sailing Club out here, who sail in the warmer months on one of the local larger dams. I'm even considering buying a small boat... hmmm... you can take the boy away from the water, but you can't take the sailor out of the boy...

Random thought... watching the Test cricket on tellie the other night (too bad the Aussie lost by just 2 runs! D'oh! Makes the series more interesting, I suppose), my housemate and I were amazed at what we later discovered was a crowd 'dressing-up' competition. I mean, there were nuns and Batman and High Court judges and who-knows-whats sitting in the crowd, much to our amusement. But, at the sight of a man totally wrapped in black, complete with a black face mask (minus a mouth hole) - taking a big swig of beer and thus wearing it all down his front - still has us literally rolling about laughing at just the thought! Great camera work - and even better timing! Bloody Pommies! pmsl!

The Photo Galleries have been updated too.

I also just realised I've never got around to writing those demented 'packing shed stories' either... it'll come, oh yes, it'll come...

"It is the most pretentious nonsense to believe that the work you do will live after you. It might, but then again it might not, and history will be the judge of that, not you. What most of us leave to posterity are only a few memories of ourselves, really, and possibly a few enemies. A whole human life of struggle, bravery, defeat, triumph, hope, despair, might be remembered, finally, for one drunken escapade" (Charmian Clift, 'What Are you Doing It For?', Being Alone With Oneself - Essays 1968-1969, ed. Nadia Wheatley, Collins Sydney 1991).

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

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Unconscious Mutterings

Week 131
I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Complexion:: Freckles
   
2. Teach:: Enthusiastic energy
   
3. Back to school:: Dictionaries
   
4. Months:: not years
   
5. Nominate:: your favourite three-toed sloth
   
6. Favorite curse word:: fark
   
7. Concerned:: for my sanity
   
8. Better:: Days?
   
9. Escalate::or
   
10. Unveil:: the hidden yoghurt (???)
    

Sunday, August 07, 2005
What would you do in the following situations?

1. The store clerk undercharges you for an item you purchase? I'm stoopid enough that my double-take reflex would give it away! It's happened before - and only just recently! D'oh!
2. The cashier gives you change for a fifty dollar bill when you only gave her a twenty, and you don't realize it until you're out the door? Nowdays I'd go back and give it back... living in a country town, you've gotta support your local businesses - plus almost everybody knows you, and they'd wouldn't be too happy the next time you came in when they realised it was you who diddled 'em!
3. You see your best friend's husband/wife with another woman/man at a neighborhood restaurant? Assume nothing... if they start snogging or going for it on the table, then that'd be cause for concern! Hey, I know plenty of people who have good friends of the opposite sex who enjoy hanging out together, without fear of compromising themselves.
4. Your 15 year old asks you if you ever tried an alcoholic beverage before you were of legeal drinking age (and you have)? I'd tell them the truth... how alcohol really messed up my life at a young age. If they want to drink, do it socially with some trusted older friends. But not anti-social binging... OH MY GAWD! I sound like my PARENTS! AARRGGHHH!
5. You find a one hundred dollar bill laying on the floor of a department store? Well, it'd sure be tempting just to pocket it, wouldn't it? But no, I'd hand it in to the nearest teller - and get a receipt for it. Once again... 'assume nothing!'

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They're baack! Oh my GAWD!!!

A few photos along the way

This is not me, but an Aussie iconic pic all the same...
Moonrise over Athens - the dream continues... Hydra, I'm comin! I'm comin!
Sunset over Venice, Italy... great colours
Water water everywhere, but where goes the water...?

I took these pics yesterday arvo of our local dam and water supply - it's a whole lot damn fuller (no pun intended) than some others around here.

I Like Monkeys...

"I Like Monkeys" - a random story found online... (not mine tho! But - randomly obscure!!!)



The latest in GM Food - the CauliSheep

(Thanx for the pic TangerineStar!)

(*) Happy Birthday JD!

Happy birthday to you



Hippy birthdaft to you



Hippy birthdaft, dear JD



Happy birthday to you!


I love you endlessly, Mr Boy

(*) Gone bush

Link's blog reminded me of an amazing time that'd slipped my conscious memory - the first time I'd ever ridden a horse. I might have written about it before, but Link talking about her horse ride brought it all back to me quite clearly.

My ex and I used to know a lovely couple, Tom and Sophie, who lived on a small property in Capertee, in the middle of nowhere (between Lithgow and Mudgee NSW - not far from where we used to live at the time c.1999). Tom was a classic stereotypical Aussie bushie, complete with slow drawl and shabby boots and hat - and a passion for singing Slim Dusty songs (heaven help us all! lol). Anyway one day he suggested we go for a bit of a ride. Well, I was born and bred in the city and hadn't even sat on a horse before, let alone ridden one. Horses scared me somehow - they just seemed so farking huge. Anyway, I knew I could trust Tom - he'd been riding since he was a sparkle in his dad's eye, I reckon. I'd assumed (norty thing to do 'assume' you know ;) ) he'd just take me for a bit of a walk around the house paddoc, and we'd only be a little while. He showed me how to saddle up and all that sorta stuff - which I'd never seen or done first-hand before. The smells - horse, leather, blanket - all new to me, but somehow reassuringly comforting, earthy, natural. He got me up on the horse's back, and he lead us astride his own horse. It felt good and it was comfortable. We just slowly rode along and talked, talked talked about life the universe and everything... and before I knew it we were like a few km's away from their place, in the middle of the bush! I hadn't really been aware too much of the different gates and dirt roads we'd been travelling down, cause i'd been enjoying the conversation and the whole vibe of the moment so much. He took us up and down some steep stony slopes - which my horse took easily (I'm sure that's why he got me riding that particular horse), and I felt such a sense of being like a pioneer or something corny like that. This place we went to is now National Park, and it was just wild bush - but only a few km's from his back padock. Tom took us to a small cave he and Sophiew had found on one of their long rides a few months' before, and they'd even camped out overnight in this small hidden enclave. We hitched the horses and crawled on our bellies to get inside this cave hidden from above in the face of a small cliff. The narrow entrance belied the larger cavern further inside, and Tom and I sat in there for about half an hour just enjoying the silence, the smell of earth and years' passed. Tom showed me the small remains of a campfire they'd made the last time they were here, and how the smoke would chimney out easily with a small hole shining thru the roof aboive us. I could hear the shuffle, snuffle and clumping stomp of a horse somewhere nearby above us. It was a wonderful moment in a wonderful afternoon. it's hard to describe the sensation - it was like just getting back to who we should be when we get rid of all the material crap we hoard without realising it (like the net and puters, I guess!). The view across the valley was so peaceful... in the distance you could just make out the railway crossing at Ben Bullen and the occasional flash of sunlight reflecting off a distant car's chrome. But it was so quiet and peaceful. We eventually started back again, leading me once again on a circular route different to the way we'd already come. My horse handled it well, although I think it must hace been an older animal (I think so - I donlt really know about things like that, you know!) We walked along a dry creek bed, still sharing reverenced silence and life, the universe and everything between us - it was a wonderful time for two blokes to just hang out with no agenda whatsoever. It was about three hours later we came back thru the gate we'd originally rode thru, and we could see the girls standing at the backdoor - probably wondering where the hell we'd gotten to. Sophie and M got on well, so I'm sure they didn't mind the time just to hang out together either. Tom showed me how to get down again, how to take the saddle off and rub the animal down a bit after we'd tied up. It was brilliant feeling like a real country bloke for a change. The best part (in a way) was that I didn;t feel sore at all - not a bit! I wholly expected to feel like shit the day after, but it didn't happen - Tom had been such a positive, encouraging rider I must have subconsciously felt totally at ease. I'll never forget the sounds of silence in the middle of the bush - except for the shuffle and snuffle of the horse beneath you. As a city boy, it's a sensation that seemed at one sense wholly alien to me, but then again it seemed totally natural and 'real' - the most real I think I'd felt for a bloody long time.

It's been nice journeying thru the memories again... thanks for the opportunity. I know I've just written it (and'll post it) as it's come out, so that's why it's just like a ramble... because the memory is of a relaxed rambling time of comfort in tune with the bush surroundings.

Cyalayta
Mal :o)

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I'm feeling a whole damn lot brighter now thanx - it's been a few hours since 'that' phone call, and I'm feeling a whole lot more less stressed and breathing again. Writing this post (above), plus enjoying Brian Wilson's "Smile!" CD has helped soothe the nerves a whole lot. So, what on earth is "Smile!"? Hmmm... it's the Beach Boy's LP that never was... Brian Wilson was so blown away by The Beatles' "Sgt Pepper" that he basically scraped mostly everything they'd done for the project. The only thing that basically survived was the amazing singles "Good Vibrations" and "Heros and Villans". It's taken him over 30+ years to get the nerve to face it all again and finally finish re-recording it - the whole process caused the bloke to have a nervous breakdown back in 1967! So, it's musically brilliant, but lots of whimsy make it a delight to experience. And I'm not even a big Beach Boys fan either! lol

(*) Fuck it!

NOTE: Rant follows - if you can't be bothered to take the happy with the shitty, then just skip this post. Ta.

JD has broken his leg, a week before his 12th birthday. How did I find out? When finally getting on to speak with the boys' mum late tonite (after being unable to since Tuesday), she casually mentioned that he'd broken his leg late last week.

"Whaaat? What happened? Why didn't you tell me"? I said in some surprise and consternation.

"He was running at school and did something to his ankle... he's getting a fresh cast put on on Tuesday."

"Oh gosh... is he alright? Why didn't you tell me about this when it happened, M?"

"Oh, I just assumed JD would have told you..."

"Whaat? You're his mother, I'm his father - it's up to you to tell me things like this!"

"Oh? Why...?"

I hung up.

That's where she's upto - she likes to play little games like this - she thinks it's funny or empowering or some shit or other. It's just damn frustrating. She's doing the exact opposite to what we agreed together when we met for ediation the other month. She's just not keeping me informed of the boy's movements or important things like - gees, is a broken leg important that I should really know? Do you THINK...?!? Fucking hell. "I just assumed..." How piss weak is that, eh? Am I wrong - tell me if I'm being totally unrealistic here, alright?

Oh yeah. Do I get to see my own son on his birthday Saturday? NO! "He's busy..." Bullshit. I'll ring him in the morning to check with him (and also see if M is listening in on the other phone - I've caught her listening in before, you know...) if HE wants to see me on his birthday! Since M is unwilling to inform me or allow me the basic access rights, I just have to play the game her way - and fuck her out at the same time, unfortunately - and go thru JD directly. She won't like me doing that, but she doesn't leave me any option, does she? I mean, the boys are the important ones, right? So, hasn't a 12 year old the right to decide if he wants to see his dad on his birthday, hmmm? Tell me if you think this is totally unreasonable, will you, alrite?

Gees, do you think it's time to get her back for mediation again - and this time with a solicitor present to pull her up on how she's abusing my legal rights as the boy's father?!? Hmmm... Hey - I am not the fucking agressor here, alright? Passive agression is her game, and her totally ignoring my existance as a 'person non grata' in the boy's life is fucking criminal - tell me if that is totally unreasonable of me to say that, alright?

No sleep for me tonight either... when she plays tricks like this on me (abusing my rights to acces of my own children), I get so emotionally entangled inside that my guts turn about in somersets and it's impossible to sleep. The brain just doesn't turn off. I HATE feeling like this. It's been 4 years now - you think she'd be over her pathetic pettiness by now? Shit shit shit fuck shit fuck it all!!!

Fins.

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On This Day...
Born: Maureen Starkey (ringo's first wife, 1946), Percy Bysshe Shelley (poet, 1792).
Events: Great Britain declared war on Germany, 1914.
Useless Trivia: Moldova is situated between Romania and Ukraine.
My Soundtrack: Pink Floyd "Piper at the Gates of Dawn" (their first LP!); "Smile!" Brian Wilson (finally - after almost 40 years!)
Footwear: shoes and sox - see how upset I am?

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

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(*) Such is life

Wierd experience yesterday... turned on the light in my room... "POP!" The actual bulb popped straight down onto the bed and bounced onto the floor... didn't smash tho. Not the whole light globe - just the glass bit! The metal bit remained in the fitting! I've never had anything like that happen before! The whole bulb - unbroken - just laying on the floor! Altho I remember when I was living in Gosford I turned on a light - and it literally just exploded! Sheesh - tiny bits of glass everywhere. I'm thankful it didn't go everywhere this time, but just sat on the floor rolling slightly up at me. Bizarre, to say the least. Stoopid light blubs!

So much for cheap cut-price competion for the local petrol stations - the place I've been getting fuel at for the last 6+ months has just closed down! Ack! Probably couldn't survive against the other major fuel suppliers in town, poor bastards. Needless to say, it's back to paying full-price for fuel again. Not that I have to do that very often lately... I haven't needed to put any in my little car (which is going just fine, by the way) for about 3 weeks. It's about 116 cents/litre here at the mo.

JD's 12th this birthday... still haven't been able to negotiate a time or place to be with him yet... it's farking depressing.

Body clock is upside down again at the present... at midnight I feel like I should be getting some dinner happening! Ack! A positive spin with it is that I've managed to have some nice long chats with friends I don't normally get a chance to, with the time differences and all.

No hits or anything re. the ULC/Rev Mallard site yet - that's OK. It's just an experiment exploring my spiritual journey a bit. I'm pretty annoyed having to change some of the privacy settings on it and my message board after some nasty mungrel* left some horrible comments here last week. All gone now - they didn't win, you know, and I'm just getting on with it all again. One step at a time. Thanx to my ISP and Blogger for their helpful help.
*Just for those mungrels!

A thought - when was the last time you updated and changed your password? I didn't change mine to 'thoon' or 'password', either lol. Did I ever tell you the story about when I was working casually for the Electoral Office a few years' back, using their new computer system and wizz-bang software and stuff (at the time). Despite all the training into figuring out how to use it (and it never really worked properly anyway - d'oh!), they told us the secret password, which was - you've guessed it, 'password' !!! That's the public service for you!

Have you Pinned my Guestmap (on the right) yet? Love to see where you come form - I'm a visual learner, remember? haha. Plus if you could give me some constructive feedback about the experimental photo galleries I've recently re-uploaded, I'd appreciate that too. It's all trial and error still - even after being online for over five years... such is life (Thanx Ned Kelly & Syd Nolan).

On This Day...
Born: Martin Sheen (actor, 1940).
Died: Lenny Bruce (comedian, 1966); Joseph Conrad (author, 1924).
Events: The Beatles play Liverpool's Cavern Club for the last time, 1963.
Useless Trivia: The official language of Moldova is Moldovan.
My Soundtrack: CCR
Footwear: sox & uggies
Weather: cool, cloudy, calm - nice winter's day.

I was tapping away on the keyboard

When suddenly I said, 'Oh Lord!'

There was a frightening flash

Another big crash!

I'm putting this PC to the sword.

Cyalayta
Mallard d'Quackers :o)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969)

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Yet another great quote

Read the quote here.
Then there's this one... or this...
But this one is really really bad!!!
... I think I need to go to bed now! lol

Photo Galleries

Mal's Pics - late 2006

Mal's pics 2004-05

The Boys - early 2007

The Boys - late 2006

The Boys - June-September 2006

The Boys - mid '05

Family Gallery

Wyreema II - 'Laser' sailing dinghy #82666 (from Xmas 2006)

Wyreema - 'Solo' sailing dinghy @ Carcoar Dam

Carcoar Dam Sailing Club

Cairns Holiday - May 2006

Sydney Revisited - mid 2006 - old childhood stomping ground; some family graves; Sydney views

Aussie Bush Views

George Johnston & Charmian Clift - my favourite Aussie writers

Hydra, Greece

Kiama, & George Johnston's Grave

Mal's Car - 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer (April 2006)

The Beatles

Moldova

Bathurst Show, April 2005

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NB. This is kind-of an experiment to publish various photos...

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(*) Asparagus Flummery

1. If you could be on the Amazing Race, who would your partner be? I have no idea - I've never watched the show... perhaps someone who's a teacher?
2. On a priority scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate trust in a relationship/friendship? 10 out of 10 - absolutely!
3. Do you trust your spouse/significant other/best friend completely? Can you ever trust someone 100% I'm not sure anymore!
4. Do you trust others easily, or does it take time? It takes time, after all this time, it still takes a long time. Trust must be earned, not given.

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Week 130
I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Risks:: walking out your front door... or maybe just getting out of bed? haha
   
2. Abdominal:: flabbado
   
3. Radiant:: sunshiny day
   
4. The usual:: shite
   
5. Mix and match:: Hanimex
   
6. Wireless:: Crystal radio
   
7. Remedial:: teaching
   
8. Mile:: Tom
   
9. Long lost:: sanity
   
10. Only one:: you (Sherbet)
    

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Picture of an actual crack that was found in the window frame on a DC-9. This could have caused a major in-flight problem.

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What's wrong with this picture?
Another amazing pic of a consumerable society... :(
(Thanx to pattycam watchers for the inspiration!)

Here's an interesting site

Quote of the week???

NB. It wasn't from me, alright? hahahaa.

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Finish this line:

You are never too old to.....
stand in the rain.

(Thanx Michele)